


Strong In The Real Way

by Bipolar_Armitage_Hux



Series: Bastards and Broken Things [13]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Agender Hux, Autistic Hux, Autistic Kylo Ren, Blood and Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Intersex Hux, M/M, PTSD Hux, Trans Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 18:56:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8113696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bipolar_Armitage_Hux/pseuds/Bipolar_Armitage_Hux
Summary: Kylo picks up a beaten, tortured Hux and drives him back to his apartment to look after him. Hurt/comfort and a little bit of fluff, I think they need it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a direct continuation of Attitude Adjustment. Yes the title is a Steven Universe reference.

"Kylo?" Hux said weakly into his phone a few minutes later. Had he been in better shape he might have assumed this meant there was a problem and panicked, so there was a small mercy there.   
  
"Hux, I'm in a taxi. I'll be there soon, okay?" Kylo said quickly, his laboured breathing clear in his voice.   
  
"Okay-" Hux began.   
  
"And try and keep yourself awake," Kylo interrupted, not really listening to him. "If you have a concussion and you fall asleep then-"  
  
"Yeah, I know, possible come or death," Hux mumbled back in a drowsy manner. This did not fill Kylo with hope.   
  
"Okay," Kylo responded warily. "I'll be there soon, I-" he hesitated. "I love you," he finished before hanging up. Hux curled up inside his coat in the driver's seat in the car. He wondered if Phasma was watching him at the moment or at least had someone doing so. What Hux didn't know is that she wasn't watching him because she was currently in her bedroom with a young woman - but that's another story. Her guards were mostly still in the torture chamber, drinking, laughing and watching the videos Hux was being tortured with - but he really didn't need to know that. He felt himself falling asleep and forced his eyes open, he groaned and winced as he struggled to turn slightly and turned on his ignition. He turned on his CD player to discover Kylo had left his Twenty One Pilots CD in there, he grinned and rolled his eyes. He wasn't a fan but the noise would certainly make it difficult for him to fall asleep. Hux wasn't sure if Kylo appeared incredibly quickly or if he was so disorientated it felt quickly. Interestingly, Kylo thought the opposite. Hux was startled by a tap on the window, he opened the door to find himself unable to keep his balance, he almost fell into the ground but thankfully Kylo was there to catch him.   
  
"Hey, hey, it's okay," Kylo soothed as Hux fell into him, he tried to hide his true feelings from his voice. Hux was stained with blood, his hair darkened and matted with it. The only places where his skin seemed clear was where trails of tears had taken away some of the blood. "Can you walk?" Kylo said his voice almost breaking as he held Hux steady.   
  
"A little," Hux responded, Kylo relaxed a little knowing that he could speak. "I- I'll need help," he finished.   
  
"Okay, I'll help you get to the passenger side and then I'll get you to hos-"  
  
"No," Hux said, using all of his strength to sound adamant, causing him to stumble a little. "No hospitals."   
  
"Hux-" Kylo began incredulously.   
  
"No. Please Kylo," Hux begged weakly.   
  
"Okay, I'm getting you home, we'll clean you up and then we'll talk about this. Deal?" Hux considered this for a moment before nodding. "Okay, right. Let's get you to the passenger seat," Kylo finished, he ducked his head under Hux's right arm, secured his left arm on Hux's other side. It took a few minutes but eventually Kylo had gotten Hux sat up in the passenger seat with a seat belt on. Kylo tried not to focus on how Hux couldn't sit up unaided, or on how he was still silently crying. He couldn't hide it, the tears were striking against his bloodied face. Kylo tried not to think about it. He got into the driver's seat, all the time throwing worried looks at Hux. Kylo just noticed how Hux's shirt was torn, and his coat was soaked with blood, probably so heavy it was hurting him more. "Hux, do you think it might be a good idea to take the coat off?" Kylo said softly, attempting not to sound patronising but he was never very good at conveying things with his tone of voice.   
  
"No," Hux responded without elaboration. Kylo sighed and put on his seatbelt.   
  
"Fine- wait," Kylo said staring at the CD player. "Why are you listening to Twenty One Pilots?"  
  
"Your fault," Hux mumbled, which actually managed to get a laugh from Kylo. Am I seriously laughing right now? He thought feeling his insides twist with guilt.   
  
The drive home was surprisingly quick and uneventful, it was late so there were no cars on the road and Hux managed to stay away the whole time. Kylo tried to keep talking the whole way, trying to ask Hux lots of questions to make sure he was still awake. It didn't start getting difficult again until they got to Hux's apartment building. Kylo parked in the building's garage and when he got the passenger seat to help Hux he realised that the other hadn't realised they were even there.   
  
"Hux, put your arms around my neck," Kylo said, leaning forward and wrapping his hands around his waist. "Now, I need you stand up when I say '3', okay? 1- 2- 3!" Kylo struggled but couldn't help but think about how he was glad that Hux was so thin, otherwise this would be incredibly difficult. "Okay good, now, put your arms around my shoulders again and- yes that's it. Now, okay, let's get you to the flat," Kylo finished. He was incredibly relieved no one was in the car park and the hallway also seemed empty. Usually this unsettled Kylo but right now he was just grateful for it. Eventually they got to the lift, which was a little easier. Kylo took this opportunity to gently hold Hux and kiss his cheek. "It's going to be okay, I promise," he soothed which as much sincerity as he could muster. In truth he didn't know how this was going to turn out but if he kept saying it, he might actually believe it.   
  
When the eventually got to the flat, Kylo managed to pry the coat away from Hux, he struggled to hold him upright and put the coat away so he found himself throwing it over the table near the door. He knocked over a bowl and heard a crash as it hit the ground and keys scattered everywhere. Neither of them cared right now. When he managed to get Hux to the sofa Kylo let out a sigh of relief before sitting next to him. He went to touch Hux but stopped through fear he'd hurt him. "I -uh - first I need to get your shirt off, right, uh, hold my hands-" he said offering his hands forward, Hux took them and used them to sit up properly. He tried to undo his shirt but he couldn't stop his hands from shaking nor could he bend them or his arms correctly. "Hey, let me-" Kylo said, as he unbuttoned the shirt of a resigned looking Hux. "Uh, now I need you to lean forward-" Kylo gently pulled his shirt from his shoulders and off of his arms, putting it to the sie. "Uh, right I need to - where do you keep the first aid thing?"   
  
"It's under my bed," Hux said, wincing as he took a deep breath. "Uh, I'm not sure what you'll need just bring everything."  
  
"Okay, on it," Kylo said as he stood up forcing a smile.   
  
"And, boiled water. Not boiling, obviously," Hux called after him.   
  
"Got it," Kylo called from his room. He walked into Hux's immaculate room, he instantly walked to the bedside table, lifted up the purple bed spread to pull out the first aid box. Behind it he noticed a cardboard that had "ARMITAGE'S THINGS" on it, he frowned and curiosity got the better of him. Just a quick look wouldn't hurt, right? He pulled it forward and had a look inside. In it he found a t-shirt, an old military coat, an old walkman and an engineering text book, he narrowed his eyes a little. Hux's room was meticulously organised, it just felt a little out of character. He shook his head and pushed it back where it was, it was minor and not important. He'd have to ask Hux about it later. He groaned as he carried the box, realising it was heavier than it looked as he wondered how on earth Hux managed to carry it down to his car and to the club so often. When he got to the living room he placed it down on the coffee table. He made a dramatic mock-grimace. "That's really heavy."  
  
"I know right?" Hux said with an attempt at a wry smile. "Boiled water," he added tiredly.   
  
"Oh yes of course, sorry," Kylo responded, jumping up and walking to the kitchen. He filled up the kettle and switched it on, whilst he was waiting he turned back towards Hux who was lying half awake on the sofa. "You're not... still bleeding right?" Kylo added, looking at the clock and realising all of this had taken an hour. Hux snorted.   
  
"No, if I was I would be dead. A couple of the cuts keep opening though, not badly but-"   
  
"Yes, sort it out quickly, I get it," Kylo responded. He turned around when he heard the click, and filled up a bowl with boiled water. He left it stand for a moment and turn back around. "What's that box under your bed by the way?"   
  
"Which one?" Hux said, had he been more alert then Kylo would've accused him of being evasive but he wasn't sure right now.   
  
"The only other one, the one that says 'AR- Sorry - HUX'S STUFF' on it," Kylo responded picking up the slightly cooler bowl and walking carefully over to the coffee table with it. He rummaged through the first aid box, pulled out some antiseptic and cotton balls. "Okay, I'm going to start with your chest," he added.   
  
"To be honest, the cuts- ah- the cuts aren't so ba- ouch," Hux winced. "Fuck, the cuts aren't- I don't think any of them need stitches. There's some butterfly tape in the - ouch!"   
  
"Fuck, yes the uh- the cuts opened," Kylo said panicking, he pulled out a clean white rag from inside the box and placed pressure on top of it. "It- it's quite deep," he added. "I uh, I think it was uh, being held in by congealed blood."  
  
"I - I don't think that's-"   
  
"Okay, I don't know but I was cleaning it up and it started bleeding again," Kylo replied, dabbing more antiseptic on the still bleeding cut.   
  
"Ah, fuck, that stings," Hux whined.   
  
"I- I think this might need stitches," Kylo said warily. "We really should-"   
  
"No."  
  
"Hux-"   
  
"No."   
  
"I've never done this before."   
  
"I can talk you through it," Hux responded.   
  
"What if I fuck it up? Then I could do some serious damage."   
  
"Well, if that happens that's when we can go to the hospital. Don't worry, it'll be fine," Hux assured weakly. "Okay," he began looking down at his chest. "To be honest, I think you can use butterfly tape if not then I'll explain the stitching to you."   
  
"Right, on it," Kylo said, rummaging around the box to pull out the butterfly tape.  
  
"This is fairly straight forward, I think you've done it to yourself before," Hux said. When Kylo nodded Hux sighed in relief and then his whole body relaxed. Like he was using all of his energy to speak. Kylo applied the butterfly tape over Hux's pale, freckled pectorals and smiled as a small part of him looked a little cleaner. Kylo kissed the stitches causing Hux to smile and chuckle a little. "You'll get antiseptic on your lips," Hux said.   
  
"Nah, I didn't," Kylo responded, cleaning up his face with boiled water. "Close your eyes." Hux flinched and recoiled remembering what Phasma had said to him. "Uh," Kylo said backing away slightly in worry.   
  
"S-Sorry," Hux said giving a humourless laugh. "It's not- I uh-"   
  
"Hux, you're going to have to tell me what happened," Kylo said as he dapped onto his eyes, gently getting rid of the congealed blood which has sealed his right eye shut.   
  
"Phasma wasn't happy with me," Hux said wincing.   
  
"Your eye isn't as bad as it looks," Kylo responded. "I'm gonna stitch up the cut just about it but... I think there's just a lot of blood."   
  
"Kylo," Hux said as Kylo started to stitch up the cut above his eyelid with butterfly tape. "Can we talk about this when I'm cleaned up? Please?" Kylo sighed as he worked.   
  
"Okay, yes. We can," he responded with a small smile. "Anyway, you never answered my question. What's with the box?"   
  
"That is all of the non-necessity stuff I owned back before I lived here," Hux said quietly. Kylo paused for a second.   
  
"A walkman, textbook and an old coat?"  
  
"And a t-shirt- ouch!" Hux insisted, wincing as he felt Kylo put pressure on his face.   
  
"That's - that's all you had at your father's?"   
  
"Well, I had other necessary stuff, like a drawer full of clothes. Mostly hand me downs and stuff I could pick up with the little money I managed to steal or talk my dad into giving me."   
  
"Well, he gave you money at least," Kylo said as he started stitching up the cut on his forehead.   
  
"Uh, money I  _stole_ or managed to manipulate him into giving me. He didn't willingly give me anything. All that stuff in the box? I kept it hidden in a box at the back of my wardrobe so he wouldn't find it," Hux said bitterly, Hux felt Kylo's hands twitch in anger but he didn't say anything - Hux appreciated that.   
  
"Why wouldn't you want him to see a coat?" Kylo asked, more than a little confused.   
  
"Well, it was his old military coat," Hux began, wincing as Kylo got the last of the blood off of his face. "I stole it from - well he had it in the cellar, in a box of his old army stuff."   
  
"Right, let's get you turned around so I can get the cuts on the back of your head, this is going to be tricky," Kylo said, helping Hux turn to the side. "Why were you looking through it in the first place?" He asked as he dabbed at the matted blood in his hair.   
  
"I was locked in the cellar all night, it was cold, I was bored. It helped keep me warm, then because I wanted to take a hit at him - but wasn't brave enough to outright do it - I stole his army jacket," Hux said off-handedly. "I think to this day he doesn't know I took it. I don't wear it any more but... I don't know. I take some pleasure in knowing I've got it and he doesn't know it's there. It's still got all his badges on it and everything."  
  
"How did you get away with wearing it?" Kylo said with a smirk.   
  
"I hid it in my school bag, rode my bike down the path from the estate, took it out and wore it," Hux smiled. Kylo couldn't help but give a small laugh at this. There was something good about knowing Hux had gotten one over on Brendol. Something really, really good about it.   
  
It took a while but eventually Hux was fixed up mostly, he had a lot of cuts, a lot of bruising and a couple of broken ribs. They hurt  _a lot_ but Kylo gave in about taking him to the hospital, all they would do for broken ribs is give him strong painkillers and the morphine Hux had in his apartment already was enough to deal with that. Kylo thought better than to ask where Hux had gotten it from, and decided that his partner was right. It was more than likely that Phasma wouldn't have done any serious damage to Hux because otherwise she would have had her bodyguard out for a long time - not that he could work with broken ribs. I guess she felt she needed to send a message which she certainly did. Kylo helped him get cleaned up, showered, dressed, have some proper food... Which to his annoyance involved him having to leave Hux and go to the 24hr supermarket at the end of the road. When he got back, the sun was rising and him and Hux were curled up in his bed. Kylo was a little less concerned since his concussion seemed to be improving, Hux was a little weepy and giggly at the same time. It was a little surreal. It was then Kylo decided to bring up the big question.   
  
"Hux, so what happened?" Kylo said, snuggled under the blanket with Hux under his arm. When he didn't answer Kylo nudged him with nose and kissed the top of his head.   
  
"Phasma told me to come round for a job," Hux started a little sleepily but also with a quiet, broken voice that worried Kylo. "I got there, I realised something was off because she was dressed for like, a party or something. Anyway, she told me there was a dinner party, there obviously wasn't. She took me down to her torture chamber-"   
  
"No, Hux-"   
  
"And, she showed me some videos. Of you," Hux finished, his head still on Kylo's chest, who felt the tears against his bare skin.   
  
"What videos?" Kylo said, wanting to stand up and pace but not wanting to let go of Hux.   
  
"You- you with one of - one of- your first clients when you were a lot younger, you with my father, you being tortured when you were unconscious," Hux said, his tone was broken, stammering and the tears at the back of his throat becoming clearer with every word. "Phasma whispered stuff to me through out, hitting me if I tried to shut my eyes or didn't respond. She- she made me say- things."   
  
"I-" Kylo didn't let go of Hux but he started shaking and his eyes were watering a little. "Fuck. Fuck, no you weren't supposed to see those, of fuck Hux," Kylo cried, throwing his head back and screwing his eyes shut. "Fuck. Hux. I'm so sorry," he paused for a moment, clearing his throat. "What did she tell you?" He finished, he wasn't sure whether or not he should ask further but he couldn't process what happened. He hated himself, he hated her. And he just wished more than anything that Hux hadn't seen any of them. Now he knows what you are, and how people hurt you, he thought to himself bitterly.  
  
"She - she told me that I was just a client and you didn't love me, she described what was- she pointed out how pretty you looked screaming, she made me tell her what my father said and what he did to me and- that I was just your pathetic little bitch and-" Hux's breathing became laboured and he buried his face in Kylo's chest. He wished he didn't have to talk about this but it's not like he could tell Kylo no. His boyfriend wrapped his arms around him and gently stroked his back.   
  
"It's okay, she can't hurt you now, I'm here," Kylo repeated soothingly. It didn't stop him asking more questions though. He couldn't help it, he needed to know as much as possible. He wasn't processing what happened correctly and, he couldn't imagine how Hux was feeling right now. He just said whatever came into his head. "What did she make you say?" Kylo asked quietly, his arm around Hux getting a little tighter and his head buried in Hux's hair.   
  
"She made you call me a stupid cunt, and- I don't know it's- it's- at the end she tried to make me say I couldn't love someone like you but- I didn't. I -" Hux let out a dry laugh. "I actually said that I loved you and she couldn't hurt me any more. I- I spat in her face. I paid for that, but it was worth it. She- she had her guards beat me but- it was better than the videos," Hux finally finished, his tears getting heavier and louder. Kylo wrapped his arms around him kissed the top of his head.   
  
"You- you stuck up for me? After everything?" Kylo said, his voice cracking. He kissed the top of Hux's head again and again, and clung to him like he would disappear if he didn't. "You fucking idiot," Kylo said with shocked laughter. "If you'd have just- if you just did what she said- I love you but don't do that again, okay? Just-"   
  
"It was the only thing I had," Hux whimpered. "You are the only thing I have, I - she's not taking that away from me.  _She can't_." Kylo sat up, holding Hux as close to him as he could.   
  
"Hey, I'm not going anywhere, okay? You're not pathetic and you're no one's bitch- fuck, Hux, you're the strongest, most beautiful person I know, I've ever met, you don't deserve any of this. I- I love you and, I'm not going anywhere, okay? Just- I can't-" Kylo fell silent, as he sobbed into Hux as well. They both stayed their for a while, crying into each other, and holding each other, together in the small bed in Hux's apartment. Kylo didn't realise that Hux's hand was just next to the scarred words at the bottom of his back, nor had he realised that he'd forgotten to cover them up. Lucky for him, Hux hadn't seen them either. Yet. 


End file.
